When someone screws with the people I care about, it turns into a thought: What is the most effective way to torture and harm offenders in the slowest and most painful way possible?
My wife called me an Uncle Tom.
— (via jeffexpress)
These people are awesome, but they pronounce “wash” like “warsh.”
Frequently replaying situations in your head thinking of what you could have done better or what you did wrong.
Boob. Boob. Vagina. Butt cheek. Butt cheek.